Don't forget mental health and self-care amid the hustle and bustle of the holidays

CINCINNATI (WKRC) - It’s called the most wonderful time of the year but for some, the holiday season isn’t so happy.

The countdown to Christmas can cause anxiety and depression. Doctors are offering advice to maintaining your mental health this month.

“When people are preparing for these holiday seasons, they’re not taking into account their mental health,” Dr. Shana Feibel, psychiatrist at the Lindner Center of HOPE and UC professor, said. “We get very stressed. We’re not thinking of ourselves. We worry about, ‘oh, this person is coming. I don’t jive with this person. That person is coming. We’ve had a tough history.’”

Dr. Feibel calls that anticipatory anxiety. She says it can also turn into depression if we don’t let go of the temptation to control.

“A lot of people want things to be perfect. They want the table to be perfect and the decorations to be perfect,” Dr. Feibel said.

She recommends shifting your perspective, letting go of unrealistic expectations and enlisting people to help.

“Hallmark, love them but Hallmark does do all those Christmas movies and things like that and everything is picture perfect and oftentimes we get cards from friends. They’re around the tree or where everything looks perfect and on Facebook but we do have to remember no situation is ideal. No situation is perfect,” Dr. Feibel said.

If you are feeling the weight of that comparison, Dr. Feibel recommends limiting social media or movies.

It’s also important to take care of ourselves before we can serve our friends and family.

“Self-care is huge and it can include all sorts of things from exercising right, sleeping right, even long showers and baths, watching your favorite TV shows and movies, listening to music,” Dr. Feibel said. “We really want people to do what feels good for them. A lot of times during these holidays they’re not (taking care of themselves) because they’re worried about the presents and the food and the grandkids.”

For some, this season could be the first time they’re experiencing anxiety or depression because things look different.

“There’s always this saying in psychiatry: the first holiday,” Dr. Feibel said. “The first holiday after somebody passes, the first holiday after maybe a traumatic event or the first holiday where you have less to spend financially.”

The first is always the worst and it’s going to be tough. That’s what Dr. Feibel tells her patients but there are ways to equip yourself, including with a good support system. She recommends reaching out to the people you already know and trust.

Dr. Feibel also recommends finding a therapist now.

“You might want to work on finding somebody as early as possible before going into the holidays because you want to have someone who you really trust,” Dr. Feibel said.

She also recommends scaling down the celebration.

“If this is your first holiday that’s a new type of a holiday that’s changed, make it smaller. Have people help you more and actually just try to create new types of traditions. I think that is also helpful. This may be different but it’s also new so you can then start having new traditions that you can look forward to,” Dr. Feibel said.

There are symptoms to look for that could be signs of anxiety or depression.

This includes low mood, low energy, poor concentration and the inability to enjoy hobbies.

You could feel like you’re having trouble waking up in the morning or having mood swings. You could also have trouble sleeping.

“If you’re sleeping but getting up in the morning and it’s still hard when it never used to be hard. Sometimes, in terms of sleep, people lie there for hours after hours and they aren’t sleeping but they’re trying to sleep,” Dr. Feibel said. “They get up after eight hours and you might think you slept eight hours. Well, it was actually maybe four.”

If you’re looking at recipes or writing Christmas cards and keep zoning out or losing focus, it shows your concentration has been reduced.

“One of the questions we always ask when screening for depression is, is there anything that you’re enjoying now?” Dr. Feibel said. “Sometimes they say no.”

If you’re not enjoying hobbies or activities you once did or can’t find the energy to do them, it’s a red flag, Dr. Feibel says.

Writing down symptoms and finding patterns in your mood can be helpful.

You can find professional help at the Lindner Center of HOPE.