Painting a Portrait of Caring Black Men

Cooking was one of the new tasks Dad picked up after Uncle Bobby temporarily moved in to live with our family. “What do you think?” Dad asked. I took the fork and selected a tender piece of chicken from the simmering pot. After a few seconds of thoughtful chewing, I gave my verdict. “That’s really good! But no more cloves.”

In 2014, my dad’s brother Bobby suffered a serious stroke in Haiti, where he lacked access to the life-saving and rehabilitative services that would help him regain his motor skills, speech, and independence. After my family coordinated and came up with a plan, my godfather flew out to the island and accompanied Bobby to Florida.

By the time Bobby settled in at our house, Dad had taken leave from his job as an elementary school teacher, stepping into the fulltime role of an adult caregiver. During the day, when Mom reviewed notes for all-staff meetings, and I raved about prom dresses during lunch, Dad picked up my uncle’s medication or drove him to physical therapy. While I spent my days in school, Dad spent his days stocking up on food that adhered to Bobby’s diet, helping him move around the house, and accompanying him to doctor’s appointments. He checked my uncle's prescriptions, drove him around town for a change of scenery, and kept him company.

As Dad transitioned into his new identity as his brother’s primary caregiver, he began to take on a larger share of the chores around the house — lifting some of the load that had previously fallen to my mom. Now that he spent most of the day at home caring for my uncle, Dad spent even more time cooking and cleaning than he had before.

From the sidelines, I saw that providing care around the clock was challenging, and at times, isolating for my dad. However, I also noticed that throughout his time as an adult caregiver, Dad gained confidence in his ability to advocate on behalf of Bobby, found value in the care he gave, and ultimately, role-modeled what it looked like for men and women to equitably divide labor in the home.

When I think about what a caring Black man looks like, I think of my father — placing his arm around Uncle Bobby’s waist, slowly helping him rise to his feet, and patiently walking beside him.

When you close your eyes and think of what a caring Black man looks like, what do you see?

Although there are more than 2 million Black men caring for adults in the United States, they remain largely invisible. By and large, their stories go untold, and they tend not to be featured in relevant discussions about family-supportive policies. As research on caregiving Black men continues to emerge, the Better Life Lab’s new report, A Portrait of Caring Black Men, seeks to build upon existing findings to help shift the narrative from one of invisibility to one of representation and inclusion.

Here are some of our findings

In our analysis of nationally representative survey data, the Better Life Lab found that Black men are actively engaged in the care economy as high-intensity caregivers, meaning they care for adults and/or children with special needs (HICPs). Eighty-six of Black male HICPs have helped adults with instrumental activities of daily living (hands-off tasks), like cleaning the home, paying bills, and transportation. Another two-thirds (65 percent) have provided help with basic/physical activities of daily living (hands-on tasks), such as toileting, bathing, and dressing. When it comes to how they value and experience their work as fathers and as caregivers for adults, we found that Black men in our survey closely resemble their white counterparts.

Still, among high-intensity caregiver respondents, more Black than white men have helped adults with hands-on medical or nursing tasks. A higher percentage have administered injections, cared for an IV or port, and prepared tubes for feeding or catheters. It’s worth noting that a fair number of the Black men in our survey are "sandwiched caregivers" (like my dad): One-third of Black fathers have had experience caring for an adult, and 19 percent have had experience caring for both an adult and a child with special needs.

We found that as parents, Black men are actively engaged and value the importance of dressing, feeding, and providing childcare for young kids slightly more than white fathers (88% to 77%). Still, like their counterparts who care for adults, fathers — both Black and white — largely resemble one another. Across the board, caregiving Black men and caregiving white men note that barriers — e.g. work-life conflict and the costs associated with taking time off from work — make it difficult for them to manage their care responsibilities.

These findings shine a light on Black fathers and Black male HICPs, whose invaluable labor is nearly invisible in our society. They also defy the pathologized images of Black men that have circulated in U.S. society for centuries. That is, these findings, help to push back against the dangerous, harmful, and racist myths, epitomized by the “absent Black father” stereotype, that cast Black men as uncaring and detached from family relationships.

The “absent Black father” myth, in particular, cements the false assumption that, when it comes to caregiving and fatherhood, Black men are less engaged than white men (who are often cast as the standard/the norm). When Black people are depicted as “inherently different” or “inferior,” to their counterparts, they are then treated more harshly by society’s members, laws, and institutions. Moreover, much of society has historically attributed racial disparities in socioeconomic, educational, and health outcomes to those perceived "failings" of Black men engendered by myths. False narratives ultimately distract from the real drivers of inequity—structural racism and a society that does not value care.

In the end, racist myths also perpetuate invisibility—when Black men are misrepresented as uncaring, they are ultimately left out of crucial conversations and policy actions oriented around caregiving.

The emergence of new research about caregiving Black men has real implications for policymaking and for the wellbeing of Black families—adults and children alike. As the cultural narrative is rewritten, it can, in turn, affect the political discourse, as well as the policies that flow out of them. Remember, policymakers are part of society and, like everyone else, absorb myths about the “absent” Black father or Black man. Oftentimes, their misconceptions and biases undoubtedly color how they write policies, as researchers from the Color of Change and Family Story explain in their report, Changing the Narrative about Black Families.

The needs of Black men who provide invaluable care to the adults and children in their lives must finally be included in discussions about family-supportive social policies, like affordable child care, paid family and medical leave, and a sustainable living wage.

During Black History Month, we celebrate the grand achievements of Black pioneers in education, politics, the arts, medicine, and just about every area of life. We remember the legacy of Black social activists, community organizers, and legal champions, while celebrating the many facets of Black culture. This year, as we highlight the trailblazers, let us also take the time to acknowledge the millions of Black men whose devotion and energy help sustain families and communities. Let’s put the spotlight on caregiving Black men, and — building from a greater knowledge of their experiences — respond to their needs with narratives and policies that truly reflect and reinforce their incredible contributions.